SoCS: luck

I’m not sure I believe in luck anymore.

Or maybe I only believe in luck, given that no amount of thought, planning, and preparation seems adequate?

Hard to say…

Was it lucky that Paco, after literally months of not being able to even remember how to even answer his phone, suddenly remembered how yesterday?

I thought that maybe he was recovering some brain function that we thought had been permanently lost in his falls in June.

Or was it unlucky because he called me at 12:45 AM to ask about a dental appointment that was on his calendar that he didn’t remember going to?

I called the aide station and asked for them to remove the receivers from his room. I also hoped that he would go to sleep. It was odd that he was awake at that hour because he hadn’t slept much during the day, either, and lately he has been napping extensively and sleeping all night.

At 1:45 AM, my phone rang again. It was Paco, calling to tell me that his phone wasn’t working. The aide hadn’t realized that there were two wireless handsets and Paco had found the second one, most likely the one on the homebase that was hidden behind his television.

I called the aide station to ask them to get the second handset out of there, which they presumably did, but I, who had only slept maybe an hour before the first call came in and not since, still couldn’t go back to sleep so I got up and did a bit of correspondence and finally went to sleep sometime after 3:30.

Of course, I was awake by 7.

On Saturday morning, the nursing home has a singalong at 10:00. Singalongs are by far Paco’s favorite activity, so I had planned to stay at home this morning and spend a few hours finishing touch-ups and a cover letter to submit my poetry collection to a press for consideration, but I don’t know if I have enough brain to do it.

Stream of consciousness blogging is one thing; editing poetry and following detailed submission instructions is another. I’m not sure my brain can handle the second.

It’s too bad I don’t drink coffee.

Or tea.

Or anything with caffeine.

Or that my body doesn’t seem to have the same effects from caffeine that most people do.

So, if I’m lucky, at some point this weekend, I’ll have enough brainpower to get the manuscript sent out.

If I’m really lucky, Paco will retain his phone calling ability while regaining his sense of night and day, which seemed to have failed him yesterday even as his phone skills reappeared.

But, yeah, it’s not really about luck, is it?

It’s about dementia and its progression and my worry and the taxing of my coping skills after so many years of caregiving for a succession of people with myriad needs.

Luck has little, or maybe even nothing, to do with it.
*****
Linda’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week is “luck.” Join us! Find out more here: https://lindaghill.com/2021/08/13/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-14-2021/


Author: Joanne Corey

Please come visit my eclectic blog, Top of JC's Mind. You can never be sure what you'll find!

12 thoughts on “SoCS: luck”

  1. The human brain is perplexing and fascinating. I have to be careful about caffiene, too, but can tolerate a cup of green tea in the AM. When I have to be up and alert later in the day, exercise can help. But sometimes, we just need to take a nap. I hope you sleep well when you can.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know exercise is supposed to give an energy boost, but I generally just feel even more tired. Given that I don’t seem to be able to fall asleep, I think I’m just going to have to adjust my activities for today, go to bed early-for-me tonight and hope that I actually manage a full night’s sleep so I can accomplish my tasks that need full brain power tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Thanks, JoAnna. I wouldn’t say I slept well but probably well enough to get done what I need to do today. I did have an idea of a medical issue with my father that may be contributing to my father’s current increased cognitive difficulties. I’m once again in the bizarre position of having to suggest possible causes to the team at the nursing home.

          Liked by 1 person

            1. Thanks, JoAnna. I was able to get my manuscript submitted today which was the big non-caretaking thing I needed to do this weekend. Paco slept most of the day, but had some breathing difficulties so they put him on oxygen. When the main medical staff is in tomorrow, I’m hoping we will be able to figure out what is going on. I’m thinking it may be related to his anemia but that should be easy to tell with some repeat bloodwork.

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    1. I’m grateful to have the manuscript submitted. Rest is not very attainable, but for the happy reason that our grandchildren from the UK are here for two weeks with their parents, of course! There will be a blog post eventually….

      Liked by 1 person

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