tea party

After B’s mom, known here on the blog as Grandma, passed away almost two years ago, one of the things we inherited was her teacup cupboard and most of her teacups, some of which she had collected over the years and some that had come to her through her mother and aunt.

While some people collect objects just to look at them, Grandma made use of her collection, choosing cups to use for coffee after Sunday dinners, birthdays, and holidays in the Vermont home where she lived for decades.

She had distributed a few cups to younger family members over the years, but kept most of the collection together, moving it to the senior living community near us a few years before her death.

After she passed away, B’s brother and his family chose a few teacups to remind them of Grandma, but dozens of them set up residence in our dining room, stacked in the white barristers that Grandma had used.

One of the special happenings this holiday season during L’s visit has been a series of evening teaparties with L, E, and T enjoying tea and treats. They have been working their way methodically through the cupboard, starting with the top shelf and using each cup in each stack as it presents itself, along with its matching saucer, of course. They have been brewing loose tea – from an Adagio Teas sampler that E bought for T as a Christmas gift – in a teapot and using Grandma’s china tea strainer to pour into that evening’s cups.

It warms our hearts to see Grandma’s granddaughters and grandson-in-law using her cups together.

Grandma would approve.
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Join us for Linda’s Just Jot It January! Find out how here: https://lindaghill.com/2018/01/07/jusjojan-daily-prompt-january-7th-2018/

 

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Finding Dory, family, and memory

I love Pixar.

I love that they have a short before the feature film. Before Finding Dory, there is Piper, the wordless story of a young sandpiper learning to find food on its own. The animation is so stunning that in the first moments I thought it was photographed rather than animated. The story is also incredibly endearing, which is another Pixar trademark.

I love that there are bonuses, like references to other Pixar films and little final scenes after the credits. It was a shame we were the only ones left in the theater to see the special Finding Nemo flashback scene at the end of Finding Dory.

What I love most, though, is the richness of the storytelling. All Pixar movies work on multiple levels. They certainly appeal to children and impart life lessons as all worthy tales do, but they also appeal to adults across the age spectrum with further layers of meaning.

Finding Dory is about finding family, both in the sense of family of origin and the family that we can make for ourselves through deep friendship. The resilience of family bonds in the face of great challenge is on full display.

For me, there was an additional family connection. One of the key elements of Dory’s character is that she suffers from short term memory loss.  In this film, there is an added element of vivid distant memories that re-surface.  It reminded me of the stage of Alzheimer’s disease where the person can’t remember what happened a minute ago but can remember what happened many years before.

It was especially poignant because my 91-year-old dad just lost his last sibling, who like their father and two other siblings, had suffered with Alzheimer’s disease. We have also known other people with Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia and are familiar with the frustrations, fears, and dangers it causes, both to the persons with memory loss and the people around them.

There isn’t a cure, just ways of compensating and adjusting as best one can, moment to moment, trusting that , somehow, the bonds of family will be strong enough to draw us together and back to ourselves.

 

SoCS: Memory

Memory is both a blessing and a curse.

There are so many wonderful memories – of my daughters growing up, of contentment with my spouse, of the many decades of life with my parents close by, of extended family gatherings, of singing and playing music, of wonderful discussions with friends, of seeing beautiful sights, so much loveliness in the world…

But somehow the dark memories intrude, even when I attempt to push them away – the pain of seeing my daughters struggle against illness, the bewildering journey of the last six months of my father-in-law’s life, the health issues with the remaining family elders, the loss of my family’s beloved parish to an abuse of power, the ongoing tragedies of war, racism, exploitation, sexism, oppression which rely on memory to keep old grievances and what should be bygone practices alive…

What to do? Try to use the positive memories to give strength to heal the legacy of the dark memories.

Easier said than done.

This post is part of Linda’s Stream of Consciousness Saturdays. The prompt is “memory”. Join us! Find out how here:  http://lindaghill.com/2014/10/31/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-november-114/

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