SoCS: count on it

Linda posts the prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday on Friday so that people have a chance to mull the prompt before writing the post, which is stream of consciousness so no editing allowed.

Confession: Sometimes, I write the post on Friday and just schedule it to come out on Saturday.

Second Confession: Sometimes, I plan the post in my head more than I probably should to be true stream of consciousness.

I usually do, though, manage to have some thoughts about the prompt or I just don’t participate that week.

Because it’s Just Jot It January and because I already didn’t do Stream of Consciousness one week because I had a post of my own I wanted to get out, I really wanted to do SoCS this week.

The prompt is to use “count on it” in the post.

When I read it Friday morning, I thought that it would be pretty straightforward. Something would pop into my head as the focus for the post.

But that didn’t happen.

A lot of things that I can no longer count on came into my head, but it seemed too unsettling to write about that.

I think the combination of personal losses, the pandemic, the divisiveness of the United States, and the feeling that I’m always waiting for the next shoe to drop – and it does – have left me unsure that there is anything I can count on.

It’s probably more feeling than fact.

It’s cold and grey today.

The sun will rise tomorrow.

I can count on it.

Yes, let’s go with that.
Join us for Linda’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday and/or Just Jot It January! Find out more here:

SoCS: eyedrops

Last night, I watched my mother put in her prescription eyedrops. In the ER. Before we saw the doctor. After she had been there several hours. Before they decided to admit her.

I usually try to read the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt from Linda on Friday. If my Saturday is supposed to be busy, I will write it on Friday and schedule the post to appear on Saturday. Friday afternoon when I read:  Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “I/eye/aye.”  Use one, use ‘em all – just make it yours. And have fun! I fully expected to be leisurely writing my SoCS post Saturday morning before setting out on other tasks or just puttering about the house. No big plans.

Instead a Friday night call from the ER sent me over to the hospital, where I stayed until after midnight. I spent a good chunk of the day there today and will be back at the hospital tomorrow morning while my mom has a test. If things go well, she should be released tomorrow afternoon.

I hope. We all hope.

This post is part of Linda’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday.  Please join in!  Details here:  Badge by Doobster@Mindful Digressions


SoCS: but

I am getting really tired of the word “but” because I have been hearing it so much from my mother-in-law when she is making excuses for not following the advice of her doctors and other members of her health care team.

I know I should be eating six times a day but I have never been a snacker.

I know I should leave out some of the food/dishes, etc, that I need often on the counter rather than hauling them down from high shelves but I hate clutter.

I know I shouldn’t cross my legs when I sit but I’ve been doing it for my whole life and don’t even think about it.

And on and on. There is always a “but.”

I know change is hard, but it needs to happen. We are maybe finally starting to make some progress. She has gained back a tiny bit of the weight she has lost. We now have physical and occupational therapists and a nurse visiting in her home.

We need more progress.

No if, ands, or buts…

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SoCS: Find the time

This week’s prompt is “find.”

As I write this, it is not Saturday, but Friday morning. My first thought in reading the prompt was how am I going to find the time to do this and I figured if I didn’t plunge in now, it was not going to get done, so here I am, with the washer running a load of towels, dashing this off before I go back to what I am trying to do today, which is catch up with some of my electronic life, especially my overflowing inbox. 516 emails to deal with, at this second. No doubt it will be more by the time I hit save and schedule.

People who read my blog may recall that my parents had simultaneous health crises this summer.  What I haven’t been blogging about is more recent life complications. I am happy to say that my parents, after losing most of August to recovery, are mostly back to their routines and doing well.  I spent the first part of September battling a GI thing, but recovered in time to prep for and participate in the Alice Parker tribute at Smith, which I wrote about here and here.

Within hours of my return from Northampton, we got word that my mother-in-law has a lumbar compression fracture due to osteoporosis. The time since then has been a blur of appointments, errands, transport duty, trying to get her to eat and use her medications properly, and rest, and not twist or bend or try to do things that put strain on the back, like changing the bedsheets or picking up the paper from the stoop.  There is also a lot of mental energy going to figuring out the next steps, which may include having a neurosurgeon inject a cementing substance into the collapsed vertebra, but first we have to get through an MRI and another consult appointment next week.  And a caucus with my brother-in-law, her elder son, who is a physician but who is several hundred miles away.

Meanwhile, I have been able to carve out some time yesterday and today to tackle the backlog on my computer.  It’s impossible to get to everything, so I am trying to jettison everything I can bear to, while still attempting to create at least a shadow of my presence here at Top of JC’s Mind, through my personal correspondence, and for my Facebook friends.  There are at least half a dozen blog posts that I have in my head that I need to find time to get worked out on screen, unless I suddenly become a stream of consciousness blogger.  No, that would be a bad idea. Forgoing editing once a week is one thing.  All the time?  Shudder…

And, as you read this on Saturday, I will be “celebrating” my birthday. Under the circumstances, original plans have been pared down and even those are vague, pending seeing how today goes for my mother-in-law and what she is like in the morning.  At this point, I’m hoping to be able to at least have dinner out with enough notice that we can wrangle an early dinner reservation at a fine dining type of place.  If push comes to shove, we can go impromptu, even if it means picking up a wood-fired brick-oven pizza and eating it with my husband at the kitchen table. Maybe we can put a candle in it….

519 emails…

socs-badgeBadge by Doobster @Mindful Digressions

This post is part of Linda’s Stream of Consciousness Saturdays.  Please join us!  Visit to find out how.

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