a long haul

I’ve been thinking a lot about my late father, known here as Paco, recently.

I wish I could say that I am browsing old photos or remembering family holidays but, instead, I am mired in dealing with trying to settle insurance claims and begin the work needed to file his final tax returns and other estate sort of things.

Unfortunately, some of the issues are medical and it is bringing me back to a place of feeling helpless to alleviate Paco’s symptoms and not being able to get timely and accurate information about his condition.

It’s difficult and energy-draining and makes me feel like crawling into bed and pulling the covers over my head.

I’m not doing that.

I am trying to shepherd my energy and steel myself to chip away at all the work. It’s going to take a long time to get through it all.

It remains to be seen whether I can get the sadness to abate somewhat before I finish or not.
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Author: Joanne Corey

Please come visit my eclectic blog, Top of JC's Mind. You can never be sure what you'll find!

8 thoughts on “a long haul”

  1. I’m sorry for your loss. I know that’s inadequate, but I don’t know what else to say. But, I do know your sadness. I lost my mom 2 weeks ago, and my experience with losing my dad has taught me that right now the most important thing is self-care. Be kind to yourself. That’s the key to getting through the sadness.

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    1. Thank you for your sympathies, Cynthia. I’m so sorry to hear of the losses you have experienced, especially the very recent loss of your mom. I hope that you have support and that your self-care efforts will help to give you comfort and peace.

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  2. You did everything you could to help Paco. I believe he knows that and doesn’t want you to worry about that anymore. The sadness will come and go, but eventually all the paperwork will be done. (Though I’m still getting junk mail for my dad five years after his death.) Still there will come a day when all the paperwork is behind you, and you will have more good memories than sadness.

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    1. Thank you, JoAnna. I admit that it’s hard for me to stop feeling guilty or responsible, even for things that I couldn’t possibly remedy with my best efforts. I will try, though. I know the mail for my dad will continue for a long time. We still occasionally get mail for my father-in-law who passed away in 2005 and who would now be 97 years old.

      Liked by 1 person

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